It’s Been A Long Time Coming (The Candy Horror Preview Show)
Before I begin, I’d like to catch some people up with where I’ve been between January 2nd and now: I turned in my Advanced Training application, got my driver’s license, said a tearful goodbye to a friend (who’s currently training to be a Navy SEAL), waited two months for a phone interview, finally got it, left Kentucky for San Francisco, and am now completing my first Advanced Training class. My Advanced Training center has wireless Internet (unblocked, so people can blog and go on YouTube, but anything sex-related is cut, but no one really cares about it, as long as they have YouTube and the ability to download from uTorrent), so it gives me great pleasure to announce that “Saturday Morning Hangover” is back! Originally, it was supposed to come back yesterday, but I was out shopping (payday is on Fridays at Treasure Island Job Corps Center as opposed to Tuesdays, like in Whitney M. Young) and was really not planning on bringing back “Saturday Morning Hangover” until September (anyone who grew up in the 1980s and 1990s knows that September is the month that new Saturday morning cartoons — along with new episodes of the Saturday morning cartoons that didn’t get canceled — premiere). However, I figure I better give my readers (if any) a sneak preview of what the new posts will be like (they’re not all that different, but they are going to be better-written).
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Fridge Horror [frĭdj haw-ər (hor-rər)]: when a plot point or character trait or revelation becomes terrifying after either thinking about it in realistic terms or putting it in conjunction with an early or later plot point, character trait or revelation. [from TVTropes.org]
If the Internet has taught me anything, it’s that there are classic cartoon fans out there who are content with just watching their long-ago favorites through the nostalgia filter and not letting reality spoil their enjoyment. For me, this condition is temporary. Once reality and logic contaminate my classic cartoon enjoyment, it stays contaminated. It’s not all bad though. Without it, I still wouldn’t have found the Pepe Le Pew cartoons funny on the level that I find most contemporary adult cartoons funny at age 14. However, there are moments where this isn’t the case.
Every Friday, I will pull up a classic cartoon (and maybe some contemporary ones) and describe how horrific the endings (and sometimes the entire cartoon, but mostly the endings) can be when the power of realistic, logical thought is applied. Yes, I know, it’s Saturday, but this is a sneak preview. The regular Fridge Horror Fridays won’t start until August 26th.
Title: Long-Haired Hare
Release Date: June 25th, 1949
Summary: After pompous opera singer, Giovanni Jones, breaks Bugs’s musical instruments (a banjo, a harp, and a tuba respectively), Bugs gets back at Jones with several opera performance-related gags (including posing as Leopold Stokowski).
The Ending (according to Wikipedia): During the concert’s final act, Bugs poses as the highly respected Leopold Stokowski to take over the conducting duties. First, Bugs, emulating Stokowski’s free-hand conducting style, makes Jones sing various notes, including a very low note. After accepting brief applause (which is instantly stopped when he raises his hand), Bugs cracks his knuckles, winds up his fists, and conducts Jones into holding a singular high G note until Jones can hardly endure the strain. His face turns different colors as his formal wear unravels under the pressure: white formal bow tie unties itself, collar detaches and snaps open side to side, white vestee buttons burst off and vestee falls to the ground, dickey releases and rolls into his face, suspender buttons give causing his formal slacks to fall around his ankles, revealing a large pair of flowered boxer shorts. After a while, Bugs leaves his glove hovering in the air and steps outside to order a pair of earmuffs which are delivered immediately after Bugs places the order in the mailbox. Bugs returns to the stage to find Jones has obeyed the glove and is still singing the high note. He writhes on the floor banging his fists, looking a little worse for the wear. The top of the concert hall’s shell begins to shatter from the sustained note and eventually tumbles down on top of Jones. To the applause of the audience, a roughed-up Jones appears out of the rubble to take a bow. Witnessing one last piece of the amphitheater balanced on a steel beam above Jones, Bugs again cues the singer to close out his performance with the high note so that the piece falls and knocks him out. Satisfied with his victory, Bugs removes his wig, stares directly down at Giovanni and ends the performance by playing vaudeville-era four-note tune, “Good Evening Friends”, on his repaired banjo.
The Fridge Horror: Bugs may have killed a man all because the man rudely interrupted Bugs’s practice in the beginning of the cartoon.
Usually when Bugs uses trickery to defeat a foe (whether it’s Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Marvin the Martian, Daffy Duck, or a one-time, mostly-unnamed male character), the foe is shown to be either badly battered, mentally scarred from dealing with him, or being carted off by the police and/or mental hospital to get away from Bugs. Once that boulder falls on Giovanni’s head, we never see or hear him again. Though, I don’t know which is worse: Giovanni getting crushed to death or the fact that he could have died from holding that overly long note (unless he had the diaphragm for such a feat) if the Looney Tunes cartoons followed reality. The viewer could see how much pain Giovanni was in and no one stepped in to say, “Stop, Bugs! He’s had enough!”
And we’re supposed to sympathize with Bugs Bunny in this cartoon? Actually, this cartoon has no one with whom to sympathize. Giovanni is a jerk-ass who broke Bugs’s musical instruments and Bugs resorted to disporportionate retribution to get back at Giovanni. It’s still funny, but think about that next time you watch this cartoon.
